‘Stache of the Day, 11/23: Yosemite Sam

By sheer virtue of proportions, Yosemite Sam’s mustache drops the facial hair gauntlet to his opponents.  Take off his floppy, tortilla-like hat (which, along with the neckerchief, makes him look he’s one Mint Julep short of Opening Day at Del Mar) and I’m pretty sure his mustache is approximately 85% his height. From his shoulders to the floor, and at its base it’s also the width of his arms.  I think this qualifies Sam’s mustache as his primary weapon, and his six-shooters just merely an afterthought. In fact, without the guns, Sam may be scarier. With the pistols, I look at him and think “well, maybe this four-fingered man is willing to negotiate” and “why the hell does he keep calling everything ‘varmint’?” 

The moral of the story: never doubt the facial hair growing prowess of a man whose eyebrows start at one side of his nose, wrap over the brow, and end at the otherside. Especially if he’s wearing chaps.

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